Shaken Read online

  The ball whizzed through the air, and she turned to follow its arc. Rough pigskin burned her fingers as she crossed the end zone. Then strong hands grabbed her waist and pulled her to the ground. She landed on her attacker before being flipped on her back to stare at bare tree branches, the ball held close to her chest. She drew in a sharp breath. Nick knelt over her, a victorious grin on his face.

  “Real subtle, Hawk.” Micah joined them and popped the back of Nick’s head.

  “I got it. That counts.” Kaylan scrambled to her feet, daring them to challenge her. Nick and Micah burst into laughter as the others joined them.

  “Wasn’t this touch football?” Seth scanned Nick up and down, looking every bit the protective younger brother.

  Nick shrugged. “I just couldn’t resist. She looked too cute running across the field. And who can resist a girl who makes touchdowns that gracefully?”

  Kaylan glared. He had no right to come along and make her heart race or say those kinds of things, especially in front of an audience.

  “Told you he would like it if you caught the ball,” Seth snickered.

  Kaylan turned on her little brother. “Hush your mouth, Seth Richards. I can still whip you.” She hoped Nick missed her glowing, red face.

  “I’m not sure I’d put money on you, but I’d definitely like to see that.” Nick slapped Seth on the back, his chuckle causing her temperature to rise.

  She stared Nick down, ready to shoot a few bullets of her own. He seemed to sober as he received the full impact of her gaze and smothered his smile. “I take that back. Right now I would definitely put money on you.”

  He winked and turned to Micah. “How about a break for some of that sweet tea I’ve been missing in Cali? They just can’t make it quite right.”

  Nick and Micah headed for the house with David and Seth trailing behind. Kaylan studied him as he greeted her parents and grandparents on the wide porch. What had gotten into him since his deployment? If he was this obvious already, she wasn’t sure she was ready to face the full intensity of a talk with him.

  She turned to Sarah Beth. “What do I do about Nick?”

  “Kiss and make up, of course. What kind of question is that?” Sarah Beth’s eyes sparkled.

  “I’m serious! He wants to talk. Just the two of us.” She bit her lip. “This is really awful timing. First Haiti, now him.”

  The smile that rarely left Sarah Beth’s face dimmed, and she pulled Kaylan close in a hug. “You aren’t that hurt girl anymore, and you have no obligation to him if you don’t want to explore a relationship. Okay? Sorry, girl, but I need some of your Gran’s sweet tea too. Meet ya inside.” After a quick squeeze, Sarah Beth ran to the house.

  Kaylan walked back to the house, feeling abandoned. Everyone else seemed willing to give Nick the benefit of the doubt, but she wasn’t ready. Not until he explained a few things.

  She trudged onto the porch, stretching her muscles. Everyone had disappeared inside except Pap.

  “Hey, there, Sugar. Come sit with your Pap for a minute.”

  Pap’s Southern drawl comforted Kaylan. She remembered many sweet moments with him on this porch. His green eyes so much like her own twinkled as she faced him.

  “He’s a good-looking guy, isn’t he, Sugar? And a military man at that.”

  A blush blossomed again, and she cursed the genetic trait. “Pap . . . ” She groaned, settling into the rocker next to him and setting it in motion.

  “Can’t lie to your Pap now, Sugar. From what I hear, that young man is the kind of man we always prayed you would marry. Maybe he deserves a second chance. He was a catch several years ago, but neither of you were ready. I think the Lord has probably knocked rough edges off both of you over the last few years.”

  Once upon a time she would have said the same. Had everyone forgotten Nick’s phone call with some excuse about no time for anything except God and country? He’d basically told her she wasn’t worth the time or effort.

  Pap handed her a glass of iced tea, his solution for everything. Gran had brewed this batch to perfection with the precise mixture of sugar and lemon. More sugar than tea, she suspected. It was the Southern way.

  “Talk to your Pap. How’re you feeling about today?”

  Kaylan struggled to sift through all the emotions. Nick crowded her thoughts, filling her senses with his dominating, quiet presence. She wanted him out of her head. Away from her heart. She ignored Pap’s references to Nick and focused on her graduation instead. “I can’t believe I graduated, Pap. I’m so excited to be done, but I’ll miss college. Whose bright idea was it to release us into the wild without any more direction as soon as we finish school?” She laughed. “I’m a mess, Pap.”

  “Well, now, I think that’s pretty natural.” He studied the afternoon sky. It was a brisk December day though the sun shone. Kaylan closed her eyes and enjoyed the rays kissing her face.

  “Something else bothering you, Sugar?”

  She opened her eyes and met his steady gaze. Those eyes had once intimidated criminals in his courtroom, but he didn’t fool her. They held a sparkle and wisdom Kaylan coveted. He was the picture of the South: strong, sure, warm, inviting. Pap was safe. He was home. And she was leaving him for Haiti.

  What was she thinking?

  “It’s been quite a day.” Should she tell him now? It wasn’t like her to keep something this big from her family, especially Pap or Micah. “Pap, did you ever think about living in another country?”

  “Alabama’s always been home. But there was a time your grandmother and I considered moving to Africa.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “I was moving up in my career. The kids were settled and excelling. So, we sent money, we prayed, we supported those who could go, and we served in our own community here. Both places are mission fields. The Lord assigned us to our own family and friends here in Tuscaloosa. My place on the bench afforded me the chance to influence our community.” His sharp eyes met hers. “Where’s this coming from?”

  “Well . . . ”

  “Hey, you two, it’s about time to eat,” Seth shouted from inside the house, gaining her more time to process.

  Pap rose and squeezed her knee. “We’ll talk again after dinner, Sugar.”

  Kaylan sighed. It was hard to believe she had walked across the stage that morning. The day had taken one twist after another. Two things were certain: Nick was back and determined to prove himself, and she wanted to go to Haiti, which unfortunately meant it was time to have some heart-to-hearts. Kaylan prayed everyone would understand.

  Decisions, and now confrontation. How she hated those words.

  Chapter Three

  THEIR VOICES SWIRLED around her head like a tornado in the spring, wreaking havoc on her already confused thoughts. Her graduation dinner clearly wasn’t the best time to discuss her decision to go to Haiti. The storm broke in all its fury with her confession, made just after the graduation cake was cut and served. Her piece, covered in white frosting with a few red flowers, sat untouched in front of her. Everyone had an opinion, and everyone was talking at once.

  “Kayles, isn’t this kind of sudden? I mean, you would need to leave a few days after Christmas. That’s less than two weeks away.” Always practical, David immediately resorted to number crunching.

  “Aren’t the conditions pretty rough?” her mom chimed in.

  “How are you planning to pay for this?” Her dad frowned.

  “Is this a good idea? You’ve never lived outside of Tuscaloosa,” Gran interjected.

  “Have you really thought this through?” By the look on Micah’s face, Kaylan knew she should have told him earlier.

  “That sounds like an adventure. Where can I sign up?” Seth’s enthusiasm drew a small smile.

  “When were you planning on telling us?” Her dad’s voice rose above the fray, but before Kaylan could respond, Sarah Beth rose to her rescue.

  “Mr. Richards, Kaylan and I have prayed about this for a while.
We really feel like the Lord is calling us to Haiti now. I know we can make a difference.”

  Only Nick remained quiet, his eyes taking in the action. A quick glance at his face reminded Kaylan why she’d been drawn to him in the first place. He assessed a situation before he responded. As his eyes swerved to hers, she saw a glint of admiration and curiosity before she looked away. She didn’t want to deal with that now.

  Her head buzzed. Could she really do this? If God had called her to it, He would see her through it. Wasn’t that what she had always been taught? Yes, this was a commitment the Lord had placed on her heart. He would walk with her through every step. The sweet reassurance sank and took root in her soul.

  Silence descended as Pap stood, knuckles rapping on the table, every bit the retired state judge who could still command a room. “Now, let’s stop asking all these questions, because the last time I checked, the Lord seldom calls us to do what is realistic. He calls us to be obedient, and that sounds like what my Sugar is trying to do here. Now I, for one, am going to support her.” He nodded at his wife and wrapped her hand in his, taking his seat.

  Tears filled Kaylan’s eyes.

  “Before you say anything else, can I at least answer why Haiti? Haiti is the most impoverished nation in the Western Hemisphere. I want to help train parents how to take care of their kids’ nutritional needs, and I want to teach them about Jesus.” A current welled in her heart and spilled out of her mouth. “Haiti is right in our own backyard. The people are stuck in an awful pattern. I want to help fix it, not just stick a Band-Aid on it. Sarah Beth and I believe we can help change things.” Passion burned within her and would not be quenched. She had finally put a name and a task to a calling she had feared to voice.

  She held her breath, looking to her parents. She didn’t need their approval, but she craved their blessing and the support of her brothers.

  “Mom, Dad?”

  Micah winked at his sister and then looked at their parents. “If this is something Kaylan feels she needs to do, then I think we should support her. I won’t lie; I’m a little worried. Haiti isn’t stable politically or economically, and from what I’ve heard, that often causes unrest among the people. But whatever happens, she’s tough, and God’s in control.”

  Her mom turned to her. “Kaylan, could you tell us more about what you would be doing?”

  Kaylan nodded. “Sarah Beth heard about this organization called Hands and Feet for Haiti, which is dedicated to helping the people of Haiti. Rhonda Ames, one of their staff, runs a clinic close to the slums. I’ve talked to her over Skype, and she would train me in some basic medical care so I can help out in the clinic. She says I would be able to use some of the things I learned as part of my nutrition degree too, since Haiti ranks among the bottom three countries in the world for daily caloric intake. They need major help.”

  Her mom gestured toward Sarah Beth. “What about you, Sarah Beth? Your degree is in teaching, not anything medically related.”

  Sarah Beth jumped in. “This mission also engages kids in the slums who can’t afford school. I’ll work with some of the kids during the day to teach them basic reading or writing with the help of local translators.”

  “And where would you stay?” Mrs. Richards kept her tone light, but hesitation marked her words.

  “We worked that out too. Rhonda, the woman who runs the clinic, has a room available at her house with two beds that Kaylan and I can stay in.”

  “And how long would you be there?” Her dad’s question was the one Kaylan had been dreading.

  “Six months, but they’d really like us to stay a year,” Kaylan responded.

  Her dad frowned. “Wait a minute, Kaylan. Do you mean that you might forgo your internship to stay in Haiti? You may not get another shot. Those internships are hard to come by.”

  “I know, Dad. But I don’t have to make that decision right now.” From the corner of her eye she saw a glimmer of a smile light Nick’s features. She fought the urge to look at him.

  “Honey, you know how competitive this internship is, and you know how hard you’ve worked. I will have a difficult time blessing this trip to Haiti if it will put your future career in jeopardy.”

  “I thought about that. And believe me, I will weigh my options very seriously when it comes time to make that decision.” She swallowed hard, refusing to second-guess herself. “I have to trust and believe that the Lord will show me the next step. And Haiti is my next step, Dad. This is so much bigger, so much more important than just Sarah Beth or me. These people are the poorest in the Western Hemisphere. I don’t have to be completely qualified or equipped to help; I just need to be faithful. I’ve really prayed about this, and I’m so sorry I didn’t talk with you sooner. I just got so busy that it snuck up on me. But I want to do this now, more than I want to sit home waiting for my internship to start. I need your support on this.”

  “So you two have made up your minds? You both want to go to Haiti? Y’all worked hard and decided to graduate a semester early. Are you sure this is what you want to do with that time?” Kaylan’s dad looked from her to Sarah Beth and back.

  “Yes, sir,” they answered together.

  “What’s communication like? Would we be able to talk with you?” Mom asked.

  “Internet is really sporadic, so we might be able to Skype at night. Phone reception might not be clear all the time, but I’ll get an international plan set up so that I can call home.”

  Her dad sighed and ran a hand over his five o’clock shadow. “Well, sweetheart, this is ultimately your decision, and it sounds like you have all the details worked out. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  “Let me know how I can help you get ready, hon.” Her mom offered a small smile before she began to gather plates.

  The family rose to wash dishes and clean up after a long day of celebration. As Kaylan left the dining room to see Sarah Beth off, she caught Nick studying her, a hint of admiration in his eyes. He’d definitely added a twist to her graduation day. As much as she was drawn to Nick, she wasn’t quite ready to deal with what he had to say. Maybe it was nothing. After all, their romance had been brief, close to two years before. But after the way he’d looked at her today . . . Her heart raced, and the response scared her. She still cared, more than she wanted to, more than she’d realized.

  She would at least give him a chance to talk, and she would pray. As Micah had reminded her, the Lord was in control and had good plans for her, but on a day of so much change, it was hard to see the direction this train was taking her.

  “If this is a taste of life after college, I should never have graduated,” she groaned as she walked her best friend out to her car.

  Sarah Beth wrapped her arm around Kaylan’s waist. “It’s not that bad, Kayles. One tough conversation down, only about a million more to go.” Kaylan shot her a look that drew a laugh from Sarah Beth. “You’re an adult now, Kayles. You are fully capable of making your own decisions. Your parents understand that and will adjust. This is a new life stage that everyone will get used to. The question is, are you going to allow their hesitations to dictate how you respond to what the Lord is calling you to?”

  Kaylan nodded as she hugged Sarah Beth good-bye. She had an odd feeling that as difficult as it had been to face her parents, and as hard as it had been to see Nick again, Haiti would be a whole different kind of difficult, one she looked forward to with terrified anticipation.

  Chapter Four

  EXHAUSTED FROM THE day’s events, everyone turned in early, but Kaylan was too energized to sleep. The excitement and discussions of the day sent her pacing. Change emerged as her new companion, and she wrestled with the implications. She needed to go outside, clear her head.

  Grabbing her coat and a flashlight, she tiptoed down the stairs and into the dark night. Her shoes pounded the familiar path traveled many times with her brothers. Smoke from a campfire drifted in the stillness, adding to the wood’s aura. Out here she felt free, weightless
.

  Minutes later Kaylan arrived at their childhood tree house, a testament to a family weekend of hard work and bruised thumbs. Two trees bent close together, thick branches gnarled and overlapping. It created the perfect place for a tree house, capable of holding all four Richards kids.

  Moonlight peeping through the trees illuminated the area above her as she climbed the rickety steps. She ducked through the doorway, sat down on the dusty, old rug, and turned on the battery-powered lamp. The urge to return to her childhood beckoned. Maybe it would somehow clarify her present.

  Toys from years past littered the corners of the rough-hewn room. She smiled at the footballs in Seth’s corner, action figures in Micah’s, cars and trucks in David’s, and the dolls and books in hers, all worn with weather and age. Even as kids their interests provided glimpses of who they would one day be. The realization warmed her. Pulling a cord, she opened the hatch in the roof to reveal the branches and a smattering of stars. The night was still, and the moon hovered above her. The rustle of leaves and whistle of chilly wind greeted her in the winter air. She lay down on the rug and gazed at the sky. For the first time all day she relaxed.

  “Permission to come up?” Micah’s voice broke through the stillness.

  Kaylan bolted upright and scrambled onto the small platform. Her brothers stood below, and she chuckled, remembering them covered with mud in their younger years.

  “Move over, sis. We’re coming up anyway.” Seth began climbing without waiting for her response. His large frame sent the ladder wobbling.

  “Don’t fall, Seth. You’re not pint-sized anymore.”

  “Is that a fat joke?”

  Kaylan burst out laughing as he pulled his body up on the landing. “Absolutely. Look at you.”

  “I work hard to be big.”

  “Oh, I know. Your mouth works overtime on more than talking.”

  “Hey!” He dropped her in a headlock and dragged her into the tree house as David and Micah hauled themselves into the space.