Shaken Page 9
“Like you come to help Haiti?” Stevenson’s eyes locked with hers.
Kaylan had never thought about it that way. Jesus had come to a broken and hurting earth to give people hope, like what she wanted to do. She’d come to heal bodies. He’d come to heal souls.
“Yes, Stevenson, like I have come to help you. Only Jesus came because He loves you.”
Rhonda translated, and Reuben pointed to himself.
“You too, Reuben. People didn’t like Him, so they killed Him. But He didn’t stay dead.”
Reuben’s eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open.
“He came back to life again three days later. But His Father wanted Him to come home to heaven. So Jesus went back to be with His Father because He’d finished his job. And He is alive and making a home for us someday, if we choose to believe He died on the cross and rose again.”
“So how do we meet this Jesus? Is He in Haiti?”
“He is in every country. He lives in the hearts of people who love Him.”
“So he is like loa? A spirit?”
“We have His Spirit with us. But He is the only God, Stevenson. He is not a loa. He speaks to people personally.”
“So, how He be healer?”
“Jesus helped a crippled man walk again. The blind could see. The deaf could hear. The dead were raised and the sick made better. But He didn’t come to heal our bodies alone. He came to heal our hearts.”
“People not like Him, like Eliezer do not like you.”
“That’s right, Stevenson.”
“If He healer, why they do not like Him?”
“Because they didn’t understand that He loved them and came to give them hope and healing.”
“Haiti need hope and healer.”
“Yes, it does.”
“Reuben want to know how he can see Jesus someday.”
Kaylan continued to tug the thread, closing the wound. “You have to tell Jesus you love Him, that you know He died to heal you and that you believe He rose again. Then you promise to follow Him and obey.” She smiled into his eager face. “Even when you want to play instead.”
Kaylan bandaged his leg and watched the brothers’ exchange. “He say he will talk to this Jesus and want to know if He like soccer as much as Reuben.”
“He made every bone in your body, and He made you good at soccer. I bet He loves to watch you play.”
Reuben looked down at his leg and brushed the bandage with his fingers before pointing at the ceiling. “Se jezu sel ki kon geri. ”
“Wi, Reuben. Jesus is Healer.” As the boy finally succumbed to the medicine, she put away the supplies and moved to other patients. Deep in her heart she knew Reuben would come to know the Lord. Maybe her mission in Haiti was simpler than she thought.
Later that evening Kaylan lay in bed reading one of Nick’s letters from his deployment.
Dear Kaylan,
You’re on my mind daily. Micah calls you a distraction. I call you a regret, a dream I walked away from. I’m surrounded by heat, dust, hurting people, and enraged militants, but when I think of you, the world fades away. It makes me groan to think how sappy I sound, but one of my pivotal mistakes was not sharing my heart with you the last time we were together.
I can’t tell you what we’re doing here, though I wish I could. My body is primed for combat at every second. When we aren’t in the field, I’m in the gym or writing to you. Fear hangs like a canopy in this place. I feel less than a hero.
Kaylan paused. Nick had always been a hero, even when he’d walked away. The description of his assignment in the Middle East made her skin crawl. She’d feared coming to Haiti. Nick had chosen and committed his life to serving other people. He didn’t walk away from a dream. He embraced the calling of a bigger one. Her eyes found his words again.
I’m afraid, Kaylan. As I lie on my bedroll, I know men plot to take my life. I know they use their sons and daughters to lay the IEDs that take American lives. I know death is a part of their culture, less of a tragedy and more of a daily event. How do you fight a mentality? How do you war against a religion? In my fear, I remember God is in control. Yet He seems so distant here. Micah reminded me today that bravery and courage are not the absence of fear, but rather the acknowledgement that we serve the One who has promised a peace despite the circumstances. Our story is already written.
Kaylan remembered Eliezer’s confrontation. His eyes had bored to the core of her being, daring her to speak the name of Jesus. She knew voodoo was a cultural practice in Haiti. She knew many Haitians often mixed Christianity and voodoo practices. But never had she faced such animosity toward herself or her faith. Nick did daily. He was hated because he was an American and Christian.
Shame colored her vision. Fear had quickly turned to anger in light of Eliezer’s veiled warning. Nick seemed to rest in who Christ was. Kaylan kept discovering just how weak her faith was when challenged.
My mom used to call me her “mighty man of God.” I’m just now coming to accept that. I don’t fight against flesh and blood. These men and women are products of a warped culture. I fight my fear, my desire to run to alcohol, my anger, my desire to control. I fight what I can’t see and am equipped by a God who is invisible yet ever present. Does that calm you, Kaylan? The Lord is training me to be His mighty man. I fight for my country because I love it. I fight for my faith because I want the freedom to share it. And I will fight for you because you are more than worth it.
With all my heart from the deserts of the Middle East,
Nick
“Kayles?” Sarah Beth entered the room, dabbing her wet hair with a towel. The curls multiplied in the heat and humidity. She sat on Kaylan’s bed and nodded at the letter in her hand. “Missing him?”
“Yeah. It amazes me that words he wrote months ago help me today.”
“God sure knows how to time things, doesn’t He?” Sarah Beth shuddered and shifted closer. “Did Eliezer make you nervous yesterday?”
“A little bit. It was more his manner than what he said, you know? Like he could see through me, like he was in total control.”
Sarah Beth nodded. “You ever wonder how people can be so confused? I was talking to Rhonda about voodoo, and she said that many people mix it with Catholicism here. Like the saints are equivalent to spirits in voodoo. Apparently, it’s a pretty relaxed religion. People are one with nature and the earth.”
“Sometimes the most accepting religions are the most dangerous.”
“Rhonda said we should be careful. We won’t accomplish anything by offending his culture.”
“True. But how do you love someone who has such a hold over a young kid like Stevenson? I mean, if it was just Eliezer, it might be a little easier to be sympathetic. He’s bought into a lie. But to take Stevenson with him? It makes me angry.”
“I understand.” Sarah Beth squeezed her hand. “This is when the gospel gets tough.”
“I never expected to come down here and deal with religious clashes. I thought they would just want to hear about Jesus. This battle of religions was not in the game plan.”
“And was Haiti in your game plan?” Sarah Beth laughed. “Looks like God had even bigger plans for you than just coming to Haiti. He wants you to use your gifts to make an impact.”
“I can’t do it by myself.”
“Girl, you’re not alone. Rhonda’s been here for years. I’m here. Don’t be discouraged in doing good. The Lord’s bigger than the problems in this country or the dysfunction in America.” Her eyes shone, and in response an invisible force seemed to well up in Kaylan, increasing her determination. She longed to be as strong as Sarah Beth and as rooted as her family.
As night descended on Haiti, Kaylan fell asleep planning her first meeting with the young mothers.
Chapter Twelve
RHONDA’S HOME HUMMED with feminine laughter and the cry of babies. Sarah Beth and Rhonda moved throughout Rhonda’s living room, talking to women and playing with kids. Kaylan packed food for the w
omen to take back to their homes. The first Tuesday night meeting about nutrition and diet couldn’t have gone better. Kaylan had taught the women about the importance of proteins, such as beans or peanuts, and how combining them with a grain, like rice, forms a complete protein. Both of them knew that even with this knowledge, most of these women wouldn’t be able to afford a substantial amount of food, but it was a start.
Tasha approached, a pregnant girl of about the same age beside her. Kaylan immediately reached for Kenny, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin and fuzzy, dark hair. Her heart skipped a beat, and her determination doubled. For babies like Kenny and women like Tasha, things needed to change.
“Thank you.” Tasha’s smile carried hope, and with it Kaylan’s excitement grew for the next meeting. “This Yanick. She married.”
The woman smiled shyly at Kaylan, keeping her hands wrapped around her swollen abdomen.
“Yanick, it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad you came.”
The door banged open, and Eliezer barged into the entranceway. Kaylan froze in confusion. Silence settled among the women, and several swept their toddlers from the floor, holding them close. Eliezer’s eyes traveled the room and settled on Tasha and Yanick. He began to yell in Creole as he stormed over, grabbed their arms, and shoved them toward the door.
“Kenny!” Tasha cried, reaching around Eliezer but unable to break from his grip. Kaylan hurried after them, bringing Kenny and the two sacks of food for the girls’ families.
Eliezer ushered the girls to a man waiting in the dark street. The man roughly grabbed Yanick, yelling at her in Creole. Tasha remained calm. Meeting Eliezer’s eyes, Kaylan handed Kenny to Tasha while Eliezer watched her solemnly. Once again, his clothes, though still shabby, spoke of his desire to dress more affluently than those who inhabited the slums. Kaylan wondered if it gave him more credibility with the people. They feared him and heeded him too much. She refused to show fear in his presence, and by the fire in his eyes, she could tell that bothered him.
“We leave, now.” Eliezer hissed through his teeth. His eyes blazed.
“No worry. Jesus here tonight.” Tasha pointed to her heart, and with the shadow of a smile, she turned and followed Yanick down the street, soothing a squalling Kenny as she walked.
Despite the spectacle, laughter escaped from Kaylan’s lips, and she tipped her head to the night sky, thanking the Lord. Whether anyone had learned from the meeting or not was irrelevant in light of Tasha coming to the Lord. Turning to reenter the house, she bounced off Eliezer.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Eliezer. I didn’t see you.” She attempted to walk around him, but he blocked her path.
“You interfere where you do not have rights.”
“I’m here to help. Don’t you want a better Haiti for your people?” She wished she could read his face. He stood in the shadow, and the light from Rhonda’s house splashed her face.
“Then you stay with the ones who claim your God. I am responsible for those who follow me.”
“Sir, your people respect you. Don’t make them choose between doing what they feel is right for themselves and their families and their respect for you.”
“Do not meddle, and it will not be a problem. I respect you came to Haiti to help. I respect Rhonda has come to help. But I will care for my own. You worry about the rest of Port-au-Prince.” Dirt billowed in a cloud as his feet pounded the street, and he blended into the dark night.
“You okay, Kayles?” Sarah Beth moved from the doorway and glanced up and down the street.
Kaylan stared at the place Eliezer had disappeared, almost expecting him to materialize from the shadows. “He creeps me out.” She shuddered, pulling Sarah Beth toward the sound of laughing women. It was not time to dwell on her fear.
Her friends celebrated the life of one in light of the threats of another. The light and laughter surrounding Kaylan repelled the darkness of the streets outside the small house. Haiti was a whole new kind of difficult, but she wouldn’t trade a night like this for a hundred nights back in Alabama. She’d made the right decision. Yet, despite the success of the evening, she couldn’t shake the twinge of uncertainty. Eliezer loomed larger than life, lurking in the shadows of Kaylan’s dreams.
Nick concentrated on extending the bar completely above his chest. His arms shook, and sweat poured off him, dripping into his eyes as if he were in a sauna instead of the Naval Amphibious Base in Coronado, California. Micah stood above him, hands ready if Nick needed help. They had already run a couple miles along the coastline with several guys on their Naval Special Warfare Support Activities team, and now they were hitting the weights. While they were part of a larger SEAL team stationed on the West Coast, Nick and Micah were also part of NSWSA-1, a Support Activities team and smaller group that deployed for very selective and secretive assignments for however long necessary in addition to normal SEAL deployments. They had to keep in shape, ever ready to be called on a mission.
When they weren’t working out, they were training for professional development on their individual jobs for the team. After a few months of this, they would travel to different sites and conduct real-world training in environments they would see overseas. Then they would work on months of Squadron Integration Training, where they focused on mission-specific aspects. In the midst of all the training, Micah, Nick, and their fellow SEALs knew how to kick back. Surfing was Nick’s and Micah’s vice, but the other guys also enjoyed anything from hiking and fishing and time with their families to hanging out at local bars. Work hard, play hard—SEALs knew how to do both.
“Hey, Hawk?”
Nick gritted his teeth and forced words out as he exhaled, “Yeah?”
“On the phone the other night Pap asked about your birth parents, wondered if you’d found out anything. He said y’all talked about it when we were home. Why didn’t you tell me you were on this quest to find your birth parents? When did this start?”
Nick nearly dropped the weights on his chest. Micah came to the rescue and helped lift the bar back in place.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to throw you off.”
Nick wiped the sweat from his forehead and grabbed his water bottle. “It started a little bit after my dad died. When we were in Afghanistan, and I was pining over Kaylan, I decided some things needed to change, that I needed to change. It’s something I’m curious about.”
“And why’s Pap curious?”
Nick shrugged. “Maybe he wants to make sure my blood is good enough to pass on to his grandchildren.”
Micah groaned and rolled his eyes. “Watch it, bud. That’s my sister you’re talking about.” He smirked. “Pap’s not that way. Maybe he just wanted to make sure you didn’t have any identity issues. You know . . . ”
His voice trailed off, embarrassed, but Nick understood the implication. Several adopted kids he’d known had a rough time in their teens, seemed to go off the deep end. His struggle manifested itself in college, after his mom died. Parties, girls, alcohol, and a couple close brushes with the law had left him feeling empty and alone. He’d had great adoptive parents. Then his dad got sick. Cancer ate away over a few years, all while he cheered Nick through BUD/S. Alone now, with both adoptive parents gone, a deep longing had sprung up in him to find his family. His birth family.
Micah spoke up again. “Not to pry or anything, but it just surprised me that you hadn’t mentioned this.”
“I wasn’t hiding anything. It’s just sort of . . . embarrassing.”
Micah laughed and threw him a towel. “Why would it be embarrassing?”
“I had great parents. It just seems weird to look for ones who didn’t care enough to keep me.”
“There’s no shame in wanting to know where you come from.”
Nick appreciated the support. He’d found his family in the SEALs. He’d found a brother closer than blood in Micah. “Thanks, man. That means a lot.”
“My family will help you find your parents if it means that much to you.”
Nick
wondered why it mattered so much, why it burned in his heart and mind to find these unknown, biological parents. He just knew it did, and until he knew the truth, he would keep looking.
“So, what are you going to do when you actually find them?”
“I honestly have no idea, Bulldog. Maybe nothing. Maybe knowing will be enough. Maybe I’ll reach out to them. But I don’t want to disrupt their lives, and nothing will be accomplished by rehashing the past. I have no regrets. Just an overwhelming curiosity.”
Micah rubbed the back of his neck and avoided Nick’s eyes. “Man, I gotta ask. Are you hoping that you’ll find your parents, introduce yourself as the son they lost, and magically become part of the Brady bunch?”
“I’m under no illusions. I have brothers through the SEALs. I had parents. I’ve found a great girl.”
“Are you trying to tell me something, Hawk?” Micah grinned.
“Believe me, if Kaylan and I get to the place of making this permanent, you’ll be one of the first to know.”
“One of the first? That’s all I get?”
“Don’t push your luck.” He took a swing at Micah and missed. “Seriously though, have you ever had an idea or dream that just ate at you until you fulfilled it? That’s what it’s like with my birth parents. If I never know, I won’t have lost anything. My life is full. But if I can find them, I could gain something I’m not even aware of yet.”
Nick stood and moved to another machine, beginning his reps.
Micah sauntered to his side. “So where do we look now?”
Nick smiled and shrugged. The pieces would fall together in their own time. They had a good break before they were deployed again to who-knows-where, unless the Support Activities team called on them first. For now, they would train and be ready to leave at a moment’s notice, but he would definitely take advantage of the time to track down more information, even if he wasn’t quite sure where to look yet.